The Top 10 of 2008
I'm not sure about you, but this year for me has been languid; mostly a learning experience and a major write off in terms of love, life and happiness. A realignment of priorities and expectations. I've gone through three jobs; all of them dispiriting that also left me no closer to my goal of reaching the United States for the Presidential election. It just crawled by with no great stories to tell - I'm literally having trouble trying to remember any bright points that occurred. I really gave up paying attention about half-way through, but kept a spark alive for my journalism career, which saw me interview Trivium, Parkway Drive, Flogging Molly, Daysend, In Flames, Soilwork and Alice in Chains. I'm sure 2009 will fare better!
10. The slow death of Australian Journalism
I don't know about you, but if you refused to watch A Current Affair or Today Tonight you'd be relatively safe from the "stories" about grandmothers cheated out of $2,000 worth of Scratchie prizes, why Australia is such an amazing film and competitions that pit bogan against bogan as they stare agog at the multitude of savings they can make by ordering Devon ham from the deli instead of the cooling fridge. But instead the actual News services engaged in a loathsome race to the bottom, elucidating the public on how to wash one's car properly, that a detained journalist is fodder in comparison to a former footballer's indiscretions or game show hosts out on the piss. Lead stories; all worthy, according to Australian commercial television! Thanks for nothing, Fox News.
9. The resurgence of good Television
Name a great Australian TV show. Can you think of any other show apart from Underbelly? I bet you can't - this was a renaissance of Australian drama, doing what Aussies do best; real life crime. We love our crims; we loved Ned Kelly, we revere Chopper Read and now the Carlton Crew and their freewheeling whack-a-mobster spree in the 90s. Of course, the U.S. also had some enticing offerings (more crime, believe it or not) in Breaking Bad, Mad Men and The Wire. (Which I am yet to see, but can pick up for $16 a season at a local DVD shop.)
8. Raising the "We're All Going to Die" Alarm
Luckily, being surrounded by men and women of science, I forwent the doomsaying and irrational nonsense that surrounded the activation of the Large Hadron Collider; besides, if we all ended up as dust, we wouldn't even know about it. How do we know it didn't happen already? A great step forward for the human races' industrious quest to master its place in the universe.
7. Chinese Democracy Drops, no one cares
Seriously Axl, no one cares. Sales were "dissapointing" because most albums don't require a childhood and half an adolescence to produce. I spose if you live in America and like Dr. Pepper its sort of good, but little else.
6. Stealing the Libs thunder
The embattled Liberal (that's Conservatives, for my American friends) can't cut a break. Even missteps that should infuriate (well, me at least) such as raising taxes on Alcopops (while discouraging drinking and tax receipts) and a hare-brained economic stimulus, the Rudd Government had a quiet, if not uninspiring year. Labor buggered up WA, but that was to be expected. Let's see what 2009 holds.
5. World Financial Crisis hits, cheap CDs ain't cheap no more
Gordon Brown infamously proclaimed that UK growth would increase by 3.5% faces hit a multitude of palms as banks were nationalized and entire sectors of the US economy were bailed out by a magnificent and magical sum of $700 billion which seemed to validate bad business sense. Seriously, why would anyone buy loans that no one could possibly re-pay? Have you never heard of the Great Depression, you Stanford MBA types? Sometimes thrift is a virtue.
4. The Heavy Metal fossils rock out Down Under
Well, it was great if you were a metalhead; Iron Maiden, Motorhead and Judas Priest all lobbed down to our shores to delight legions of fans who hitherto never had witnessed their metal gods in full metal regalia before their very eyes. Satisfying down to the very last note.
3. Michael Phelps wins the entire Olympics
Yes. Australians are fucking cocky when it comes to the Olympics. We punch above our weight and we know it. We take on superpowers and win (per capita.) But when this arsehole fucks up our entire pissweak men's team and gives a good one to our debutante darling Stephanie Rice, your simmering hatred gives way to a good natured rivalry and desire to reclaim one's crown; if kids keep buying $20 Bacardi Breezers, then we might have enough money to fund the Aussie Institute of Sport well enough to field a decent team in London.
2. Lesbianism is the new black
I've always advocated an alliance between manly-men blokes and lesbians, but this time it's gone a bit awry. It seems that Lindsay Lohan has made lesbianism a fashion accessory - the feel-good hit of the summer so it seems. Even Katy Perry cashed in on the "lipstick lesbianism" craze by singing light-hearted pop about the taste on the lips of the opposite sex, while "real" lesbians such as Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi have to settle for gaining equal rights for LGBT people to give people a buzz.
1. Liberalism is the new black...President
It seemed inevitable that America had drifted to the left as they realised they've been had; had by right-wing cronyism, had by warhawks in ivory towers; had by media outlets on the Republican payroll. It was time for a change, and the charisma of Barack Hussein Obama cannot be denied. I hope that his talk is as good as his walk; but for now we can have faith that - yes, he can - restore America to its former glory and standing in the world.
See you in 2009!
9 comments:
YOU DO NOT SPEAK NEGATIVELY OF KATY PERRY EVER AGAIN!
I also like Dr Pepper.
I feel like I'm being targetted. Is this the new black? Targetting the weak and hopeful?
SHAME ON YOU AND YOUR SINS OF FIRE.
Shame.
And: nothing sells confidence more than crying about your year and its lack of love and aspirations. 'Cause chicks totally dig that shit, yo.
lol, how was I supposed to know you were a Dr. Pepper drinking Katy Perry fan. I had aspirations, but all of them didn't pan out as well as I'd hoped. Some did, though! I should update it a little.
ANYWAY,
Merry Christmas and "Happy Holidays" as you Americans like to say. :D
-Come on Crushtor, what sort of self respecting journalist actually admits to watching commercial TV? Like a secret drug habit or a wank at a friend's house, if you're going to do it, do it quickly, quietly and most importantly, don't tell anyone about it. Unless you enjoy that awkward, painful silence that comes with admitting either of the above. Sure, what you do in your own time is none of my business but, come on man, commercial television?! What's wrong with a bit of Lee Lin Chin? She's OUT-FUCKING-RAGEOUS. On the flipside, however, I do think that Mercedes Corby posing for one of those lad mags at least interested you. Come on. You can admit it to me. I won't tell anyone.
-On a serious note, what did you think of 'Chinese Democracy'? Musique aside, the promotion side of things, or lack thereof, totally blew my mind. You spend half your lifetime waiting for an album, the least they can do is build it up a little. And not go missing for months on end. And do a deal with Dr Peppper. My God. Just some suggestions.
-Yes, thrift is a virtue, but you know, you can overdo it and end up being a sad, cheap bastard. We've all heard those stories. Look, I'm just as thrifty as the next person, but I do have this thing where I only wear underpants once, and then I throw them out. It makes me happy. So yes, I am as thrifty as the next person, only if the next person is Victoria Beckham.
-Those Stanford MBA types are onto something. Didntyaknow, you MAKE money when people can't repay their loans. But in the words of the songwriters of the legendary Spice Girls: 'Too much of something is bad enough'. Just like chipolatas, bread-and-butter pudding and monkey faeces.
-Urgh. Stephanie Rice.
-I must admit, I was very suspicious of Katy Perry. But you have to admit, she is so gosh darn cute and kooky, that I've come around to Stephen's way. I would say that she makes me all Hot N Cold, but that would be far too easy. Incidentally, she is onto something. I think you'll find that if you kiss a girl, you'll like it.
-America's hardly drifted to the left. They may have drifted leftward but, like Australia, it's very much a centre-right sort of country. You only have to look at the campaign to see that. Massive interest in church attendance and cries of 'communism', anyone? Also, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on Palin '12.
-You left so much out in your list: Natalie Bassingthwaighte's solo career move, the Miley Cyrus/Vanity Fair saga, Madonna and Guy Ritchie's divorce, and High School Musical 3.
Thanks for that thorough rejoinder to my Top 10 list, Mia. :D
There was a lot of things that happened over the year and if I had a top 100 list and TIME magazine paid me $1 a word to write one up, you'd need a tl;dr for the tl;dr.
To be honest, I didn't think much of "Chinese Democracy" it sounded like a compilation because in essence it was a compilation - the only constant being Axl.
I am also aware that banks usually make money if people can't repay their loans, but if people don't buy the foreclosed houses, then they make a loss. I ain't no suit, but I knows what goes on.
Palin '12? Come on. She doesn't stand a chance by herself up against bloodthirsty, cashed-up Republicans with an axe to grind. I do expect more Republican women to run though. Coulter '12, perhaps?
As for the questions:
Natalie Bassingthwaite's solo career: she has a solo career?
Miley/Vanity: A lot of huffing-and-hawing, but nothing special.
Madonna/Ritchie Split: FINALLY
High School Musical 3: I really don't know, because I haven't seen it, nor do I have much compulsion to see it.
Merry Christmas to you too! Do you also have a blog? Because I can't see it.
1. You are just supposed to know. Sheesh.
2. Uhm, American? When was the last time you saw me spell colour without a u, or gaol without the g and o, or tonight without the ght?
This is intriguing, indeed. Out of all the places I could be from, why America? I mean, sure, I'm a face without a history, a name without context... but American? Surely an Australian can be just as witty and awesome?
I thought all the talk about The Veronicas and chickens and Melbourne would have made it obvious I'm just as fuckin' Aussie as the next one. I swear like any other Aussie, but I'm a graduate of a little university that most people tend to regard highly. Sheesh. Should I be offended I have been compared to a yank?
(I also, incidentally, say "happy holidays" - but that's because it's a nice thing to say, not necessarily an American thing to say)
I'll need a tl;dr for the tl;dr? ZOMGWTF?
And what do you mean, 'Merry Christmas to you too'? I wished you none of that sort. I'm Jewish, for fuck's sake! The Non Christian gets a 'Merry Christmas', while the pseudo American gets 'Happy Holidays'? That ain't right. And yes, you can't see my blog because I have deemed you unworthy to view it, after your comments on Dexter Fletcher. But never fear, there is hope for you yet.
Also, what sort of man calls himself Crushtor, and then litters his comments with :D ?!
God damn it, I can't get anything right it seems on this, MY blog, filled with MY OWN opinions and I cop nothing but flak. If I were a B-17, I'd be hitting the silk right about now.
And political correctness be DAMNED - if you don't like a word, don't say it! It can't really harm you because it refers to something you don't celebrate.
And my emoticons are me trying to be friendly! I won't be friendly any more, if you prefer!!!
Chillax Crushtor. I'm not really Jewish. I'm actually a Jehovah's Witness. No, that's a lie too. I was kidding. I hope I haven't offended you. And honestly, I'm touched you were trying to be nice. It just seemed like a bit of a contradiction - your name being Crushtor (it evokes Power Rangers-esque imagery in my head) and then flinging wide smiley emoticons everywhere.
It's hardly your blog when I steal the show.
THERE I SAID IT.
(But we were all thinking it)
StephenandCrushtor.net, anyone?
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