Inward and Closing

I'm just sitting around. Sitting on the computer, filing number after number of job applications, waiting. I visit my grandmother and her thinning hair, waiting. She tells me not to worry. I ignore her. What am I waiting for? I send some messages. My SMS machine lays idle, so I wait for it to go off. I'm stuck in the house of my childhood, waiting. I have an inkling to what I'm waiting for but I don't like it one bit.

I miss my love so terribly it hurts to sleep just as much as it does to keep awake. Then my mind turns to my love, all alone, hurt by me in so many innumerable ways, each one another regret on my mind. I want to share another joke, another glance, another kiss, another chance; anything. But I'm here waiting. I'll tape together a million shards of a broken heart if it somehow brings that giggle back. And I will wait forever if I have to. I love her that much.