7.2.09

Agency of Despair

"Looking for starlight
The lady made it alright
She was the lady
And I knew right from the start
Sweet lady starlight
Come on and make it tonight
You turn it on so easy
And the lady is my lady starlight"
- The Sweet - Lady Starlight

When the sun isn't battering me around with its hellish stare, i've been resigned to thinking; my most revered and reviled pastime these days. I wonder to myself; the end game of everlasting happiness and the absence of cares for the rest of my days - could it be sabotaged by my stupid mind and my propensity to want to go one better? Or could I merely spontaneously change using Watzlawick's wisdom:

"Dr. Watzlawick thought people author their own emotional setbacks by striving to fix themselves. He felt the solution was closer and simpler -- adjusting one's self-image to absorb new experiences. The patient looks outward and harmonizes his relationships with others, actively building knowledge and skill in a learning process called constructivism. Emotional health comes from growth, not from healing."

Thinking quietly to myself, I think I actually could. It might not lie here, and the task to reach such a seemingly unattainable goal might end in disaster, but I must try. I don't want to find my happiness because it will be easy. I want to find it where I know it will be, and try to attain it because it's hard to get. And I'll be there to get it soon, I promise. I've never wanted it so much in my entire life.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nymph, nymph, what are your beads?


Green glass, goblin. Why do you stare at them?


Give them me.

No.


Give them me. Give them me.

No.


Then I will howl all night in the reeds,
Lie in the mud and howl for them.


Goblin, why do you love them so?


They are better than stars or water,
Better than voices of winds that sing,
Better than any man's fair daughter,
Your green glass beads on a silver ring.


Hush, I stole them out of the moon.


Give me your beads, I want them.

No.


I will howl in the deep lagoon
For your green glass beads, I love them so.
Give them me. Give them.

No.


Trumped.

And: you say it's easy to find your happiness, but you won't because it's too easy? Seriously, that's the stupidest thing ever. Don't be a fucking idiot.

Everyone wants to be happy, and those who aren't are fucked beyond recognition. To spout some crap about how you're not happy, but won't let yourself be happy because it's too easy, well that's ridiculous and an insult to people who truly suffer.

You owe it to yourself - and your friends and family who support you - to be happy. And if it's easy for you to be happy, then really there's no argument standing in your way to being happy today.

Pfft.

Anonymous said...

Ok so I slightly misread what you were saying. You're not saying you know how to be easily happy, you're just saying that if it can be attained easily, you'd prefer to work for it.

My comments still stand. The end goal is happiness. There is no more or less quality put on the end product depending on what route you take to obtain it.

Happiness is about you and you only. Do what needs to be done. And if you can get it the easy way, don't you dare whinge about how you're not happy because you're not taking the obvious (and easy) options.

Booka.