Weepy and Ridiculous

I sort of unconciously conducted an experiment after I set up my Gmail - I told myself that I wouldn't delete anything from it. So I have thousands upon thousands of emails, all saved away. Since I had nothing to do, I went through them, messages from friends laying out my history neatly and unobtrusively. I saw relationships blossom and wither, jobs come and go and in some instances see things stay the same. For someone that thinks affection, be it heterosexual or otherwise as being totally "gay" (it's even painful for me to give out minor compliments) it really did open my eyes as to how important some people are to me and those who have been merely peripheral, background players.

Looking back, I remember thinking that breakups and falling outs were 'completely horrible' and as such, making me 'weepy and ridiculous.' I've only been 'weepy and ridiculous' a few times in recent memory and I always regret it feeling that way because there was no just cause to. I'm trying ever so hard not to be 'weepy and ridiculous', but recent money troubles and a certain plane ticket inching ever farther from my grasp actually made me rather 'weepy and ridiculous' the other night. I guess that spoke louder than words, since the usual pang of accompanying regret still hasn't come, nor do I feel it ever will. I felt genuinely 'weepy and ridiculous.' Now that's something.